Two great books for folks new to Java are:
"Head First Java, 2nd Edition" by Kathy Sierra and Bert Bates
...and...
"Thinking in Java (4th Edition)" by Bruce Eckel
You should also check out http://javaranch.com
This is a great and very friendly site for Java newcomers.
These resources are just a start; there's a lot of material to digest before becoming a valuable Java programmer. Take a look at this site to see where to start:
http://www-128.ibm.com/developerworks/java/library/j-javares.html
I definitely recommend starting out by writing your code in a simple editor like Notepad and compiling at the command line before moving on a fully featured IDE.
That said, Netbeans is definitely a great place to start, and it seems to get better by leaps with every release. Its hard to say that one is better than the other, they're different tools for different goals.
Best of luck!