Nothing's hopeless as long as you have the passion for your vision! (We both know I am right!)
Now my suggestion is Flash/Actionscript since it's simple, easy to add visual, 99% compatible on all machines and YES you can create executable files (PC or MAC) using Zinc or other compilers. Of course this solution is based on your situation and there will be limitations:
-Visual quality can be great but not extremely dynamic (4x games are usually not too demanding on the video card and can be done entirely in 2D while maintaining excellent visual flair)...you won't see any good looking first person shooter in flash!!
-Forget about 3D...it's 3D paper-ish, it works well but it's hard to implement (for a 4x game) and it kills the creativity. I mean, compare Starcraft with Starcraft 2...it almost looks the same...but it needs a machine 20 times more powerfull!! Sure you get bumb-mapped creep with the Zerg and all that eye candy...but the game itself? Almost identical!
-Path-finding will surely be the hardest thing to do here since you need some basic AI programming knowledge to do that...but it will be true of any programming language. The thing is, with Flash you can't overload the machine with complex operations every frame (30 times a second for example) or it will lag like hell...so optimization is a must.
Ok the strong points:
-Easy to learn, lots of tutorials online, ECMA script standard
-Easy to deploy...needs only a html page or can even play on it own!
-Easy to develop visual AND animated it.
-Almost everything can be done in the same software including design (vectorial based)
-Complex enough to work with thousand of classes, script pages and resource files.
-Good debugging functions as this is a first for you, you will need it!
Check out tutorials and example of games...there are a lot and it might help you decide. Hope this helps!