comp.lang.* is a good resource for specific questions, especially the moderated boards. Note, though, that Usenet is traditionally hard on newbies and poor questions for similar reasons to the Stack Exchange sites.
SO gets far more traffic than comp.lang.*, as well.
But about any perceived hostility: it's very likely a side effect of your poor question!
The first thing to keep in mind is that SO is designed as a resource for the community. Your questions are answered not to solve your problem, but to solve everyone's. The presence of overly-specific, overly-general, poorly-researched, repetitive, poorly-written, inaccessible, poorly-formatted, imprecise, or overly-verbose questions doesn't help anyone except the poster, and so they are a waste of time, and are treated as such. This keeps the site _useful_ for the community.
Specific well-researched questions describing the symptoms of problems you are facing and your attempts to resolve them with examples are treated as good questions and will get positive attention and good answers.
If anything's wrong, your question is useless to the community for it and so you'll be corrected. Likewise, please don't confuse criticism with rudeness. Trolls and flamers are just as (if not more) detrimental to the quality of the board as poor questions; they aren't tolerated either.
Here's a nice paper by ESR which explains this quite nicely. Read it:
http://www.catb.org/esr/faqs/smart-questions.html